Lone Parents

We have created a special area for Lone Parents on Mum and Working - inspired by the huge response we have had about work that is suitable for one parent familes.

Student Nurse - Valerie Russell

Valerie is a single parents to three boys. She has tried a variety of courses and has now found her vocation - Adult Nursing. Valerie tells us the challenges she faces trying to fit study and work around her children.

The Interview

Name - Valerie Russell

Location - South East, London

Family - 3 boys - aged 4,6 & 8.

Job title: Student Nurse

How did you become a Student Nurse? What is your background?

When I was growing up I always wanted to be in the Navy - but I got pregnant with my first son, so that didn't happen. I've tried all sorts of work and courses since. After my third child was born I was inspired to become a midwife - all 3 of my births had been good, positive experiences and after advice I applied to do a pre-access course in Adult Nursing as a route in to Midwifery. As it happens I started the Adult Nursing course and loved it - I finally feel that I've found work I am passionate about!

How does training and studying fit round your family?

The pre-access course was fine, it was at Bexley College which is fairly local to me and the classes fitted around school hours. Now I am at London South Bank University it is much harder. Basically as a student nurse as well as studying, I work shifts. These can be at anytime - 12 hour shifts - at night or weekends. This has made finding childcare to cover that impossible. I looked into finding a childminder, but to cover my hours I would have needed 3 to use in rotation!! Nannies again couldn't offer the hours I needed, and I couldn't have afforded one! Nurseries weren't an option as they are only open in the day. I don't have any friends or family I could ask to have the children so regularly..the only option I felt I had was an Au Pair.

As a student are you able to get any help with childcare costs?

No! I should be able to...and if I was able to use a registered childminder or nursery then I would be eligible for up to 85% of my childcare costs paid for. Au Pairs are not classed as 'claimable' childcare options so I have to pay for the care myself. As well as actually paying for the childcare, as the Au Pair lives with us I also have to pay for their Council Tax. As a lone parent student you are normally exempt from Council Tax..but because I have another adult living with me I have to pay!! Its driven me absolutely mad - I feel the Government want to get lone parents back to work, but I am being let down by the system. I am training in a really worthwhile role, but am barely able to to cope financially and provide good responsible chilcare for my boys. Its not easy. I've written to my MP, been into the JobCentre and no-one is able to help or shed any light on my situation, they all say 'its a unique situation and they don't know what to do'...which is no help to me!

Do you think lone parents are supported when they study?

When I was at Bexley College I felt I was well supported. I used the creche which was provided for my youngest son. It worked out well. However, I have felt un-supported by some of the courses I've done, for example when I did a counselling course - I enjoyed the counselling lectures but didn't enjoy the 'keeping hold of your own emotions' part of the course. I am an emotional, compassionate person and would have found remaining neutral impossible. As it happens matters were taken out of my hands as I was pregnant with my third son and the course leaders suggested that 'the stairs to the lecture room might be too much for me' - so I was really asked to leave! As I've also explained, now at University I feel I've been very much left on my own - to cope financially, which is unfair. Nursing has long hours and can be very emotionally draining and financial/childcare worries on top are no help!

It does sound like the course is very challenging...do you ever think about giving up?

No, I don't. I've waited all my life to find my 'vocation' and now I have! There is no way I will go back on benefits - I've seen 'long-term' benefit claimants and I don't want to be one. I never asked to be a lone parent, both of my partners left me when I was pregnant, and I am determined to give my children a positive role-model and provide the best future for them possible. As well as doing this for my children, its also for me. I love nursing!

Any advice for lone parents thinking about starting a course?

It is hard work..but if you have found something you are passionate about then it will be worth it. Not only for your children, but for you! By working hard, studying hard and improving your life you'll be the best role model for your kids and building a future for you all.