Lone Parents

We have created a special area for Lone Parents on Mum and Working - inspired by the huge response we have had about work that is suitable for one parent familes.

Debra Graham - owner of Tots Away Limited

The Interview

Name - Debra Graham

Location - Manchester

Family - Joshua (4).

What was the inspiration behind Tots Away?

It all started because I was planning to take Joshua away to meet some of his family in Scotland. I started to prepare lists of what I would need and it all just got too much and I cancelled the trip. That got me thinking about how many other single or two parent families cancel trips because of the hassles. And so the Original Tots Away Bag was born - the pre-packed baby travel bag. The stylish bag comes ready loaded with the essentials needed for taking a young tot on a short trip.

What is your background?

My background is in Sales, I used to work for One2One as a National Account Executive.

Before you set up your own business had you looked into finding a job with an employer?

I actually worked part time on the tills at ASDA while I set up Tots Away, I had a new baby and had bills to pay, it also got me out of the house and talking with people again.

Was information about jobs that could fit round Joshua easy to find?

No not at all, I wish I would have known about your site then - it would have saved me alot of sleepless nights. I went to ASDA because I knew I could do shift work and the store was quite local.

Do you think single parents face extra challenges when thinking about work?

Most definitely, I am lucky in that I have fantastic parents who help where they can but they both have full time jobs as well. As a single parent you know you are totally responsible for that child and that you have to be there to pick them up and drop them off, whenever you are needed. Its also hard as you don't have a partner to discuss things with, so you can feel very isolated.

If you hadn't set up Tots Away do you think you would have returned to work? Had you had any ideas about what you might do?

I often ask myself that question, and I don't know the answer. I would have to work to keep paying my bills, but I couldn't do the type of work I am used to as I used to spend 2/3 days a week away from home.

Did you have a good support network around you when you were setting the business up - in terms of childcare?

When I very first set up I got involved with Business Link and Women in Business who were really great. In the beginning we would discuss what I wanted to do and I would just sit and cry because of the enormity of it all.They supported me mentally and for Josh I got him a fantastic childminder who just lived down the road. She understood my life and even used to come and pick him up and drop him off. A big thanks to Joanne!

How does running your own business fit around Josh now?

Don't get me wrong its still hard but its just something we have to do. I take him to nursery for 9am and when nursery finishes he does an hour after school club so I pick him back up at 4.30pm. Its a long day for him but he is used to it and has lots of great friends. I do still travel and then my parents will have him overnight and take him to school in the morning. The other parents know my situation and are just amazing they offer to pick him up and take him to play with their children. In the beginning I wanted to do it all myself to prove I could cope, but you don't have to - people offer their help because they want to and not because they feel sorry for you.

Did you go on any training courses to help you set up Tots Away?

Women in Business had different training sessions and seminars. I found this a great way to meet other women who had made the decision to go it alone. Women naturally want to help other women, its amazing to watch. By the end of the seminar you have normally made at least one business contact and two new friends.

What research did you do, to know the business would work?

I spent a lot of time on the internet and looking through catalogues and visiting all types of different shops. I just wanted to be sure no-one else was doing this type of travel bag. When I couldn't find anything similar I just send right I am going to go for it - and I did.

Financially, how did you set up Tots Away - did you have any grants/funding?

That was hard, I did get bits of funding which really helped and without I might have had to give up. I also sold my car to get things moving.

In the early days did you do all the work yourself?

Yes, I used to work long hours through the day and night while Joshua was asleep, its amazing how much you can actually get done. When I did my first consumer show, my dad came with me on the stand for the 3 days and my mum stayed at home with Joshua. It was hard being away from him but I knew I was doing this for his future.

When did you know it was time to get an employee?

After the first show I realised I needed more money in the business so I put together a plan and approached a Manchester based company. They liked my ideas and invested in me, which was great. I still manage all the day to day running of the business, I'm very hands on but at least now if im not sure on something there are experienced people around me I can ask.

Who manages Accounts/Tax?

I do the basic bits and then I use an accountant.

What has been the biggest hurdle you've faced in setting up the business?

The biggest hurdle was in the beginning believing that I can do this and I will. I had been through a very emotional time and felt very weak. It takes a lot of effort and courage to stand up and say you know what I'm on my own but hey I can still get to where I want to be. If you believe in yourself I honestly think you can do anything!

What has been the best bit of PR/Marketing you've had?

I've had bits of press in local papers and twice had a full page in the MEN. I like the fact that people are interested in single parents who want to set up a business, I find people generally really do with you well.

Do you enjoy running your own business?

Yes, I love it but its the hardest thing I have ever done. You have to really work at it and when you get a knock back you just have to pick yourself up again and move on. But when things are going well its the best feeling in the world.

What is the biggest benefit to your family of you being self-employed?

The fact that I can go and see Josh in a school presentation, or that I can drop him off and pick him up. I feel that I can arrange my diary around him so if he needs me, I can be there.

Any advice to lone parents who would like to set up their own business, but aren't sure how they could manage to juggle the company and their kids?

Just believe in yourself and go for it. Its not easy but being a single parent isn't easy. Make sure you research your idea and put together a business plan so you know what you want and how you are going to get there. Talk to your local business link and if you can go to any kind of Start Up seminars then go, you never know who you might meet. Also be willing to let others help, and then return the favour when you can. Just don't give up.

Find out more about Tots Away at www.totsaway.co.uk